Happy Hot Halloween

I am not dressing up for Halloween this year. It isn't because I don't like to dress up cause I do. I am a retired actress after all. I even looked for a costume. I have to admit it had been a while since I went costume shopping. Since when did dressing up for Halloween become "Be A Ho 4 A Nite?" I could not get over the amount of costumes at Ricky's that involved either thigh highs, fishnets or even pasties!!! Whoa! OK- I'll admit some costumes lend themselves to being sexy or on the risque side. A French maid's outfit doesn't come with an ankle length skirt and a turtleneck. However once I started looking through the "sexy" costumes, I just could not get over what they turned into sexy costumes. Here is my list of

6 "Un-Sexy" Sexy Halloween Costumes

1) Sexy Bee- you got me, when I think sexy I think insects. Maybe the stinger is the sexy part? All I know is that when a real bee is around me I try to get away ASAP. Why would I want a bee in a bustier any where near me?

2) Alice In Wonderland- this just isn't right. This is a child from children's literature. Yes, I know the back story on Lewis Carroll. That still doesn't justify turning a 7 year old into a"naughty" costume!

3) Candy Corn- really? Sexy candy? We are all a bunch of fat people who need to get laid. That's all I have to say about that!

4) Sexy Mental Patient- this costume I saw was a sexy straight jacket that you wear like a mini dress. I think it goes without saying if this is your costume of choice, you will be seeing your therapist on November 1st.

5) Sexy Nun- seriously, I haven't seen a nun under 60 in like 20 years. I guess you will attract the kind if guy who has grandma fantasies in this costume. Ewwww!

6) Sexy Federal DEA- this one was kinda random. Who has DEA fantasies? The drug dealer who secretly wants to get caught?