I'm A Loser Baby . . .

It is Friday night. As per usual, I am at home. I used to live for going out on Friday nights. However, my circumstances have changed and now I am home bound. So now the question becomes "What do I do on a Friday night?" Maybe every once in a while, you find yourself in the same predicament. Let Listy help you. It's ok. I have done this before. Here is my list of

5 Things To Do On A Friday Night At Home

1) Watch BBC America's Friday Night Line Up- The funniest full night of TV. There is The Office, Little Britain, and Ab Fab. So good. Make some margaritas and enjoy!

2) Surf The Web- get online and look at all the stuff you've been meaning to check out. You just might find something that will change your life or your mind.

3) Bejeweled- this game is like crack. I have actually had to take it off my bookmarks cause I started to ignore things in a bad way. This is a way to kill an hour in the blink of an eye. But be warned, you can never get that hour of your life back. Oh, the dilemma.

4) Your Fav Movie- Watch your favorite movie. It's been a while and it will remind you of all the things you love about it. Porn counts, if you insist.

5) Sex- OK, it probably isn't going to take the WHOLE night. It sure is fun though! Turn on some music, turn off the lights and get down. No one in your life? That is ok too. Get out your Magic Wand (or hand) and get down with your bad self. I have found that even if I am not in the mood, I am usually glad I decided to afterwards!!!

Things To Learn

This is one of those lists that has been brewing in my mind for a long time now. It has been a while since I have learned to do something new. I like doing new things. It keeps your mind sharp and your soul young. What was the most recent thing you learned how to do? Here is my list of

6 Things To Learn

1) Knitting- I can crochet but I am not too keen on the way crocheting looks. Knitting always looks so nice. I like doing things with my hands where you can actually show someone what you've made

2) Quilting- It is such a cool old art form. I have seen some really graphic modern quilts that just look so cool!

3) Guitar- I think I can teach myself the basics. I think. I just think it would be fun to have an instrument under my belt that doesn't involve a bow and pianos are too big for my NYC apartment.

4) Tiling- I want to go to Home Depot and take a weekend tiling workshop one weekend and the next weekend retile someone's bathroom. I think its all the HGTV I watch. If I only had a house!

5) Chocolate Making- it always looks so easy on TV but I think this would be difficult. I want to make those fantastic chocolate sculptures that Jaques Torres makes on Food Network.

6) Final Cut Pro/ I Movie- I hate that Jaybee has all the say in the editing of the family videos. It isn't that he doesn't do a good job cause he does. But I want to try my hand at it too. Maybe he could teach me as a Christmas present (cough cough).

Explain It To Me Like I'm A Five Year Old

I consider myself culturally astute. I try and try to be aware as to what is going on in the pop culture world. However, sometimes I come across something that everyone else is crazy about that I just do not get. If you have some kind of insight into any of the following items, please relay it to me. Here is my list of

5 Things I Don't Get

1) Justin Timberlake- why does everyone love him? There was so much hype about him going solo from NSYNC. How come? I keep waiting to be impressed and I am just not. Maybe I am too old to get JT. PS- I also feel this way about Joss Stone.

2) Uggs Boots- any stylist worth their salt will tell you this trend is dead cause it is awful. I never understood this because they are unflattering. This is a boot that makes super models look like they have cankles. It's NEVER pretty. I know a lot of people who own Uggs and I am sorry to be the one to tell you this but they are ugly and they make your legs look fat (and your legs probably aren't fat). Put the Uggs down, ladies.

3) 80's Trends- here is the deal with me and trends: if I can remember it the first time around or I wore it in the 6th grade, I am not wearing it again. Period. Not jelly shoes, not neon colors or legging or leg warmers. OK, maybe I would give leggings another try.

4) Fresh Direct- their customer service is so bad, I don't even know where it start with them. I know they are convenient, but who cares when it takes them 3 weeks to get a refund!

5) Curb Your Enthusiasm- This is just like Seinfeld, I can't seem to find the funny. Someone fill me in.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Here is my annual list of

20 Things I Am Grateful For

1) New friends
2) Well family members
3) Active children
4) Nice weather
5) Silliness
6) Mani/Pedis
7) Date night
8) Good conversations
9) A good cup of coffee
10) Brave people
11) City life
12) Chocolate
13) Fall
14) Stillness
15) Musicals
16) Friend's birthdays
17) Texting
18) Moms
19) Iced Tea
20) Remembering

Like, OMG y'all

Really, didn't we all see this coming? I think the only one who didn't see it was poor, sad, messy Britney. To say that her VMA performance was bad is being polite. Her job was to lip sync and dance and she did neither of those very well. What was she thinking? Was she thinking?


8 Possible Thoughts Britney Had During Her VMA Performance

1) That's so nice all these people showing up to the dress rehearsal.

2) I hope I left enough Co-cola with the nanny for Tater Tot.

3) Damn, y'all this is some good shit. Where am I?

4) What ARE the words to this song?

5) So I make $737,868 a month. Divide by 30 days. Carry the 4. $1024.82 an hour and that means I am making $57.56 during this show just by doing nothing. OK, that is not worth a lot of effort.

6) Why do they even bother micing me?

7) Did I wax today?

8) I miss that snake.

Worst Of Better Homes & Gardens 1968

Every year Better Homes & Gardens puts out a cookbook. I was lucky enough to get my mom's. It has the best brownie recipe ever. It was also published in 1968. I have to admit its age is starting to show. Today I was flipping through it and found some of the most disgusting recipes I had ever heard of. Most of them involve meat and of those it is a lot of hot dogs. I promise my next entry will be about something other than food. Until then, here is my list of

7 Disgusting Recipes From BH&G Cookbook 1968

1) Chopstick Tuna- this scared me right away. The amount of tuna recipes in this book is scary and they all call for canned tuna.

2) Yankee Red Flannel Hash- I don't even know what this is.

3) Frank-vegetable Medley- I have never liked anything referred to as a medley on my plate. Now you want to throw hot dogs into the mix? I feel a little throw-up rising up in the back of my throat.

4) Hot Dog Delicious- this sounds like a bad porno to me which means I am not eating it. No matter what.

5) Porcupine Meatballs- I bet you thought they were made out of porcupine, didn't you? No but just having it in the title puts people off. Not good.

6) Sparkling Beet Cups- If you read this blog on a regular basis, you know that we at the LL hate beets. Strike one. The words sparkling and beets to not go together. Strike two. I don't even think I am going to let this one get to strike three. I am calling it out now.

7) Nutty Pups- this is an appetizer made with hot dogs and peanut butter. They should just call this cookbook 101 Gross Things To Make With Hot Dogs. I should just have a party and make all this nasty food. Anyone want to come?

Southern Fried Delicious

Usually when I get a bit homesick, it manifests itself in my desire to eat all things southern. I attempted to make BBQ pulled pork sandwiches for Thud's birthday and I think it left me (and all the other southern folks) wanting the real thing. There are specifics that I like about southern food and you may be surprised- they aren't all deep fried! Here is my list of

10 Favorite Southern Foods

1) Fried Green Tomatoes- these are sooo yummy. If I am craving them here, I go to Delta Grill.

2) Fried Chicken- I love it. My MIL makes wonderful fried chicken. She said it was the first thing Mamaw ever taught her how to cook. Things aren't southern unless they are made with love!

3) Sweet Tea- not too sweet and with lemon please! When I make this at home now I don't sweeten it cause its not so good for you that way. When I go home, I only order it sweet!

4) Corn Bread- when you make this in a cast iron skillet it gets a fantastic crust on the bottom that is very good! Thud is in love with cornbread right now.

5) Grits- there are a lot of things you can do with grits. I learned to eat them with butter and sugar on them- that's the Yankee way. Southerners usually have a fried egg on top of theirs in the morning. I also am a big fan of shrimp and grits.

6) BBQ Ribs- There is something so good about eating ribs in someone's backyard on a hot day. In Florida it is hot out 9 months of the year so it isn't just a summer thing.

7) Alligator- I like alligator and it isn't just like chicken. This is becoming more popular cause it is so good. Yes, this one is deep fried!

8) Coleslaw- I like my coleslaw on the tangy side not the sweet side. Virgil's in NYC has the best coleslaw I've ever eaten. I always get it as my 2 sides! I think it has pickles in it.

9) Banana Pudding- mmmm. One of my favorite desserts. Tinselteeth makes some of the best banana pudding you will ever eat. Home made love!

10) Home Made Biscuits- mine always come out like little hockey pucks. There is nothing quite like a warm soft biscuit for breakfast, maybe with a little bacon!

Not A List- Lists on Holiday

This is why I worship at the alter of Tori Amos. Listen to the lyrics carefully. They are fantastic.