Changes

I, like Madonna, believe that the unexamined life is not worth living. I am always striving to be a better person. I know I have flaws. I am trying to fix them. Well, I know I can't fix everything but maybe make my flaws less than they are now. I guess there isn't much more to say than here is my list of

3 Flaws I'd Like To Fix

1) Impatient- I am not a good wait-er. I just hate sitting or standing around with nothing to do. I am also impatient in general with people. I thought becoming a mom would have given me more patience but it just didn't. At least not as much as I think I need. Every day I try to be a bit more of a patient parent than I was the day before. I am lucky that I have a kid who doesn't regularly test me.

2) Complainer- I like to complain. As an adult, I realized that I get this from my mother who also likes to complain. I will complain about anything really. I hear myself sometimes and think, "you're doing it again, just shut up" but its so ingrained in my behavior that it isn't that simple.

3) Procrastinate- yes, I too note the irony of this combined with flaw #1. I put off many things in my life that I just don't want to deal with. It always comes back to bite me in the ass later. Currently, it is my weight. I am now seeing the effects of being overweight for a while on my health. At least I know when the procrastinating has gone on too long.

Don't Force It

At my house, the TV is usually my domain. I have the remote, I know what all the channels are, ect. At about 8 PM Jaybee and I assume the "positions". He sits at the computer and I am on the couch. For some reason, for the last month, Jaybee has taken over the TV. He likes to watch crap I am not the least bit interested in. Please hear me out. Here is my list of

TV I Am Forced To Watch

1) The Tour De France- I have to watch this every July. Sometimes I get to watch it in the morning (live) and again at night. I don't get road racing as a sport anyway. It's a team but only one guy wins? WTF? Also, Al Troutwig is the most annoying sports commentator alive and he always works the Tour.

2) UFC- I have ranted about this one before. It is still the most violent "real life" thing I have ever seen.

3) Motocross racing- Jaybee doesn't even like motorcycles. I am not sure why I have to suffer through this as well. I think I may have married a redneck and didn't even know it. Is that possible?
4) Thomas The Tank Engine- OK, so Jaybee doesn't make me watch this one- Thud does. That doesn't make it any better. This is one of the worst children's shows ever made. Its not even so ridiculous that you can poke fun at it. It is just dull. It also has no educational value whatsoever.

The Ultimate Space Cadet

In a move that is proof we here at the LL are natural blonds, we forgot our own birthday. We are wishing ourselves a belated Happy Birthday. For those of you who don't know, we turned one on July 21st! Happy blogging everyone!

What I'm Into 3.0

From time to time, we like to keep you the reading public informed as to what the LL is into. Since we tend to be groundbreaking with our items. I don't think I need to remind you the we had Pearl the Landlord posted before a lot of other people but I digress. So, there are some things we've been obsessing over as of late. You know what I mean- those things you can't get our of your head. Here is our list of

Current Obsessions of the LL

1) Alexia Garlic Bread- I am not the bread person in my house. Bread is usually just ok to me. I have now found the Holy Grail of bread. It is the best thing ever. I can eat half the loaf. I don't get to eat the other half cause I would have to fight Jay Bee to the death to get to it. Its the new Fairway Salsa. I just found out they make a twin pack. God help me.

2) Flight Of The Conchords-I usually obsess over one show every summer and this is it for this year. If all my friends got together and made a show it would be kind of like this. The boys are cute in that indie rock way and their one fan is very funny. I am not usually into comedy acts that sing and play guitar but this really works!

3) Perez Hilton- I read this blog like 3 times a day at least. How am I supposed to know what all the hot celeb gossip is? Besides they show all the really horrible beav shots uncensored.

4) Funniest Website Right Now- you have to click on the link to find out what it is. I can promise you this- it won't disappoint.

Cinematic Cycles

The summer movie season is here. It seems to be all over the place. Someone still needs to explain to me how they made a movie out of Transformer toys. There are a lot of things on my list of "to see" but there is one particular genre that has me excited: the movie franchise. There are a couple of really good ones coming out this season. I have to go see them and I haven't been to the movies in months. Here is my list of

5 Favorite Movie Franchises

1) The Borne series- these are the thinking person's action movies. You have to pay attention and you also get awesome fight scenes. The first and only time I ever thought Matt Damon was hot was in the Borne Identity.

2) Die Hard series- these are the quintessential summer fun movies. If Die Hard With A Vengeance comes on, I have to watch it until it is over. Yippy Ky-A, motherfuckers!

3) Harry Potter series- I saw some of the movies before I started reading the books. Some of these movies are so much fun.

4) Lord Of The Rings series- nerd alert! I know, I was one of those people who waited at the open for the 2nd and 3rd LOTR movies. The stories really do stand the test of time. The films are very well made. This is the only series on the list that is complete.

5) Indiana Jones series- oh my, I can't wait to see this new one! I hope it is worth the wait. The 2nd one gave me nightmares as a kid. It was the one where they took the guy's heart out of his chest while it was still beating. Sean Connery was great in the 3rd one- what a charmer!

The MacGyver Syndrome

I have to admit it, I don't have the best luck. Weird things happen to me on a regular basis. Out of this I have developed the ability to fix things using the most odd means. Today was no different. How do you fix a broken flip flop when you are 12 blocks from home and there is nowhere to buy anything that resembles a replacement? Simple- use a key! There are lots of interesting little things you can use in an emergency situation. Here is my list of

6 Cool Emergency Quick Fixes

1) A Key To Fix a Flip Flop- just dig a new hole to put the thong back in the sole. When I did this today it worked great and lasted me until I got home from the park!

2) Erasures As Emergency Earring Backs- if you have ever seen "Just One Of The Guys", you probably know this one. It really works.

3) Thread Used As Dental Floss- At dinner at my Senior Prom, I got a poppy seed stuck in my front teeth. I went to the bathroom and tried to dig it out. A toothpick didn't work. No luck with anything. Then it occurred to me. I pulled a thread out of the seam of my dress and flossed it right out.

4) A Tampon For A Bloody Nose- you are going to look weird, there is no two ways about that. However, if you are really gushing this works. I think having a nose gushing blood looks worse than your nose with a tampon shoved up there. Thoughts?

5) Pantyhose As A Fan Belt- I am not sure where the fan belt is but I know that I can tie pantyhose together and use them as a replacement. Cool!

6) Matchbooks Make Good Nail Files- I hate hang nails. This is a good way to fix them. If you are out on the town, match books are readily available.

That Ain't Right

There are some things in this world that just aren't supposed to go together. You know what I mean. You look at something and just say, "What the fuck?". I admit it happens to me pretty regularly. Here is my list of

5 Things That Are Just Not Right

1) Pizza in the South- hear me out, its like trying to get real bbq in New York City. They try but there is always something just not right. I've read that the people who make pizza here in New York swear by the tap water here. Maybe that is it.

2) Pick up Trucks In NYC- why would you want to parallel park a pick up truck? Besides, there aren't red necks in New York, right!

3) Britney Spears and kids- ok who didn't see this disaster coming a mile away? I hope she got her tubes tied. Those poor little boys!

4) Paula Abdul on Reality TV- I watch as much reality tv as the next person but this is too much. I think she is nuts and her reality is my nightmare.

5) Skinny Women Complaining About Their Weight- If you wear a single digit clothing size, I can't even talk to you about your new diet. Why? Cause I hate you. You aren't fat. You probably don't even need to loose weight. What you need is a grip. Get one!