Southern Speak

Well truth be told I am not really southern. Some of you may already know that. I was raised in the south but not by southern people. So going out into the world around me was interesting. Other parents weren't like mine. They ate things like corn bread and went to churches where people talked in tongues. I was Catholic so the latter scared the living daylights out of me. We don't even talk out of turn at church. Anyhow, I remember hearing words and phrases used in ways that I didn't understand. They were always funny to me. Here are some of my favorites. Here is my list of

5 Fun Southern Words/ Phrases

1) Short- as in "Don't get short with me." A good definition of this would be snippy. The first time I heard someone use this in a sentence. I had to ask what they meant. I think I didn't hear it until I got to high school.

2) Cattywompus- as in "My necklace got all cattywompus when I didn't put it in the jewelery box." I love this weird word. It just oozes southern sound. I like to use it every once in a while around the big city folks just to get people laughing and talking. It never fails for that!

3) Sugar- as in "Give me some sugar". Meaning affection and or hugs and kisses. I tell my son this all the time. He now protests by saying "No sugar, mommy. No no!" I like giving him sugar.

4) Sass- as in "Don't sass me." Also popular with the little ones. It means backtalk or as my mom calls it, "lip".

5) Come by it honestly- as in "At least she comes by it honestly." My mother in law says this on occasion. It means someone is aware about their own flaw. Like me, I am not a good bowler. I know it. I admit it freely. I still go bowling but I am not going to act like I am a good bowler.

Bottoms Up

I was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to the consumption of alcoholic beverages. I started to get my drink on during the summer after my freshman year of college. Yes- I did manage to get through an entire college year without drinking. A miracle! Now that I have a diminished social life and a waist line that is not to my liking, I am thinking about giving up libations all together. Of course, this makes me think of all the drinks I like. Here is my list of

5 Favorite Drinks

1) Sangria- this is my fave drink of all time. This place in my neighborhood makes the best sangria I have ever had, La Vuelta. I drink this all summer. Good thing its winter.

2) Margarita- I like mine on the rocks with good tequila. Frozen is not my thing for these.

3) Rum Runner- this is my favorite frozen drink. They are popular in Florida. I moved here and tried to order one and the bartender looked at me like I was high.

4) LIC Iced Tea- Lounge 47 makes this particular drink. It is better than the regular LI Iced Tea and just as potent. This is a good drink to get when you are low on funds but you need a good buzz that will last a bit.

5) Red Truck Red Wine- we have one bottle left from Christmas. Maybe I will cook with it instead of drink with it.

By Year's End

I would just like to start off by saying that blogging after a lot of red wine is not a good idea. We at the LL do not recommend it. It makes people sentimental and thus results in weird blog posts. I also can recommend Red Truck's California red wine. The 2005 is good but if you can find 2004, get that instead.

Since the New Year, I can't help but think about my little one. It really is amazing how much kids can grow and change in a calendar year. That got me thinking about this time next year. There will be a whole new arsenal of tricks. The sense of humor he has developed will change a bit. His social skills will get stronger. Here is my list of

6 Things Thud Will Be Able To Do By 2009

1) Sleep In A Big Boy Bed- this is planned for some time this summer. I think he is ready.

2) Use The Potty- I want this to happen now. I hate changing diapers on someone who could possible kick out a tooth.

3) Not Eat Crayons- apparently this happens around the 3rd birthday. Kids stop putting things in their mouths. I can't wait. It really is gross what my kid will put in his mouth.

4) Participate In Activities- right now, classes are a dicey option for us. I tried to do a music class and at the trial class, Thud spent the entire time trying to run out the front door. Awful!

5) Turn 3- no big party this year. Too much stress! I think we are going to go to Sesame Place and have breakfast with Elmo!

6) Play With Big Boy Cars & Trucks- lots of toys that Thud wants are for 3 and up. I am sure my house will be full of Hot Wheels cars by year's end.

The Small Stuff

OK men, I thought I would take up this opportunity to clear up a couple of myths. The first thing is that in general, women don't really care all that much about the size of your dick. Or cock. Or penis, junk, stuff. Whatever you want to call it. It is true that it isn't how big it is, it is about how you use it. Really. Also, we can probably guess if you have a small one. Women know that there are a few tell-tale signs. Am I right, ladies? Can I get a witness? Guys, we just know. Here is the LL list of


3 Signs A Man Has A Small Stuff

1) An Expensive Euro Sports Car- not just any sports car. I am talking about if you're a sleazy guy with gold chains and you almost hit me at a red light with your Lotus, I am guessing you have nothing to brag about. And yes, extreme SUVs count here too.

2) A Loud Mouth- we've all heard these guys. They are the ones talking so loud on the subway or at a restaurant that you can't help but listen in. They want you to hear about what they've just done or the deal they made or the woman they just fucked. Dude, I hear you. I also hear what you're saying. You are saying "I have a small penis."

3) A Crazy Hairpiece/ Comb Over- I am just thinking about Donald Trump with this one. I think a man with confidence about his junk who is dealing with hair loss just shaves his head!

Never Enough!

The old saying goes you can never be too rich or too thin. Like all Americans, I think there are some things you can never have enough of. They may not be exactly what you are thinking. Here is my list of

7 Things I Can Never Have Too Much Of

1) Sleep- I never ever say to myself, "I am perfectly rested right now." I do get a nap in every once in a while but it isn't the same as sleeping on your own schedule. Darn you , Thud!

2) Chocolate- I think most people will agree with this. I have only met one person over the course of my life that didn't like chocolate. My aunt tells me hungry has nothing to do with chocolate. I couldn't agree more.

3) Knowledge- its different than information. This is the stuff that age and experience teach you.

4) Make-up- the girly side of me thinks my make-up bag is always in need of something. I just really like this kind of stuff. Don't forget all the tools too- eyelash curler, brushes, etc.

5) Music- at my house there is an entire hard drive full of music. Under our bed, there are about 1500 CDs. There is always new stuff out there so you can never really get your fill!

6) Money- I guess this isn't as true as it used to be. Now there are people in the world who realize that they can't spend and will away all their money so they are giving most of it away. I am just thinking if I won the lottery, I would still do some serious investing and not quit my job- just find a different one!

7) Tea- hot or cold. sweet or unsweet. herbal or full strength. does it really matter? I can't get enough tea. Ever!

Home Is Where Your Hat Is

This happens at our house every time this time of year. Getting back from suburbia and getting back into our urban routine is a bit jarring. The debate on moving continues. Since Jay-bee has nixed Florida as an option permanently, I have come up with some ideas in my own head. Here is my list of

5 Cities I Could Live In Besides NYC

1) Santa Fe, NM- i love this town! It is small and creative and interesting. If I could find a job there I would be packing my bags right now.

2) Raleigh/ Durham, NC- there are lots of things that are great about this part of NC. I could go on and on. Part of the draw is one of my good friends lives there! Oh yeah, and BBQ. Not Yankee BBQ. Real BBQ.

3) Atlanta, GA- I think this is about as far south as I could swing it. I need some change of seasons. I think they still get that in ATL.

4) Washington, DC- I have spent some time there and each time I go there I think "I could live here". It really is like NYC except politics are the focus of the town, not money and the arts.

5) Minneapolis, MN- the only thing that would keep this from happening would be the cold. Yikes! But Minneapolis has this really cool edge to it. They have a great art scene and my favorite store in the whole entire world has their corporate headquarters there.

Writer's Strike

Well, it is official. TV now sucks more than ever. The writer's strike has left nothing but crappy reality TV and reruns. As I have said before, at this point in my life TV is my main form of entertainment. So what is a TV junkie to do? Here is my list of



10 Things To Do With Your Evening (instead of TV)

1) Read A Book
2) Drinks with the girls!
3) Vandalism
4) Run/ Go To The Gym
5) Go To The Movies
6) Grocery Shopping
7) Take A Class
8) Knit/ Crochet/ Craft of Choice
9) Throw A Pot Luck Dinner Party
10) Organize Your Life!

2008 Predictions

We here at the Listy-loo have put on our psychic hats. We are making some predictions for the New Year. Be sure to keep these on file. We think you might be surprised how many of these come to fruition.

5 Predictions for 2008

1) Apple Continues To Fund My Retirement- so basically my retirement fund is completely invested in Apple Computers. This has been VERY beneficial over the last 8 years. The value of the IRA has continued to go up over time and I think this year will be no different. Viva Manzana!

2) Depp= Oscar- I think Johnny Depp will win the 2008 Oscar for leading actor. He was pitch perfect in Sweeney Todd.

3) Obama/ Clinton Ticket- Barak has already proven himself a force to be reckoned with in Iowa and it looks like he is poised to do the same in New Hampshire. I think he will take the lead and Clinton will end up with a VP slot on the ticket.

4) Bye Britney- clearly no one got her the things from our Christmas list for her. After this last incident I think one of two things are going to happen here. She is either just going to disappear from sight or she is going to die in some weird way. So sad. I hope she just goes into hiding.

5) LL Sticks It Out- We are saying right here right now that we are going to stick out our New Year's resolution. What is that, you ask? Our NYR is to be proactive about our own health. There have been a few incidents in the family with health that could have been prevented if people had taken control of their lives or been honest with themselves about their health. We do not want this to happen to us! We hope your 2008 is off to a good start!

A Bettin' Kinda Gal

Normally I am not a gambler. I learned a long time ago that I am not a lucky person. I have the things I have because I make decisions that are true to who I am. I also am not much into absolutes but over the holidays I realized something: there are some absolutes that I can always count on and would wager money on them if I had any. Here is my list of

6 Holiday Absolutes

1) Leaving Something Behind- I always leave something behind in Florida. It never fails. This year it was Jay-bee's toiletry bag with our electric toothbrush in it. I didn't think it was possible to miss an electric toothbrush but I do. Come back to me, little Sonicare!

2) Thud Is Awesome!- My little one is always much better than I expect him to be when we travel. He sleeps better than I think he is going to and he is in better spirits as well. For someone who got much less sleep than he normally does, he was a chipper fellow all week. Maybe it was all the sugar cookies doting relatives gave to him! I do have to brag for a minute. We drove 1200 miles in one shot last week and he only cried once. No other complaints. He was a champ in the car! Did I mention we drove to Florida from NYC?

3) Tons Of Food + No Walking= Pain & Suffering- every year for the holidays I eat myself stupid and don't get any exercise as per the usual suburban existence. This year my body let me know in a not so subtle way that I simply can no longer do that. I will spare you the details but it wasn't pretty. I was reminded that I am in fact over 30.

4) Stewie's Soiree- every year one of my oldest and dearest friends has a Christmas Eve Eve party. I have been the last few years and I always have a good time. It is the kind of good time where I always want to stay longer and wish I had been able to talk more with everyone.

5) Time's Passing- when you go back to where you grew up only once or twice a year, it makes you realize how quickly time passes. Driving by my junior high and high school always remind me of this.

6) Never Going Back- at some point in our holiday travels, my husband will inevitably look over at me and say "I am so glad we don't live here anymore. I am never coming back here to live ever again." It varies as to when in the trip he says it. This year we were not even off the interstate 30 seconds and he started in. I get it, I get it! You don't have to tell me anymore.