Time's A Wastin

When there is a few minutes in my day that I have to myself, I usually waste them. That's right. Everyone has those go-to time wasters. Here are my list of

5 Time Wasters

1) Surfing the Web- Let me guess. That was first on your list too. I have started to do a lot of e-window shopping lately.

2) Baking- I don't know why I feel this need when I am bored. The good thing is I always have something yummy to show for my time. I think I might make brownies tomorrow.

3) Addiction Solitaire- I just started playing this version of solitaire. I suck at it but it is so addictive.

4) TV- This is my usual time waster. I am a TV junkie so this is an easy thing for me to do. I like to watch anything on TLC during the day.

5) Message Boards- This isn't my thing but I live with someone who LOVES the message boards on his favorite sites. It is easy to get sucked into them. You can argue and fight with someone you'll never meet. Weird.

Apocalypse Now (or The Sky Is Falling)

As we all know, the world is going to Hell in a hand basket. Our sources here at the Listy-loo tell us to back our bags and get out of town. The world will be ending in one week. Holy Shit!

7 Signs Of The Apocalypse For The New Millennium

1) My Humps wins a Grammy award.
2) The kids are actually better of with K-Fed.
3) Ruben Studdard is preaching physical fitness to children.
4) A porn sound track interrupted mass at a Santa Fe, NM church during its Ash Wednesday service. The police took the offending CD players and blew them up!
5) Prince Harry is being shipped off to fight in Iraq. Bush twins next?
6) Wimbledon hands out equal pay to male and female winners.
7) The Virgin Mary has appeared to a New Jersey man in his Cocoa Pebbles.

Excuses

I have had a mild case of writer's block and am avoiding the blog. Here is my list of

5 Reasons I Haven't Done Any New Posts
1) Writer's Block- but I guess this cures that!

2) Thud's Been Busy- between play group and play dates ( I know, I hate that phrase too. I am seeking an alternative. Any suggestions?) I have had little time to myself.

3) It's Turning Into Homework- thus I thought a little break would be good for me.

4) Something (or someone) Is Sucking The Creativity Out Of Me- not sure what to do about this.

5) Feel Like Cleaning Is A Higher Priority- am I becoming one of those women? I think I may have an identity crisis on my hands!

Celluloid City

My neighborhood used to be a collection of artist studios, drug dens and mob fronts. Oh how times have changed! Long Island City is now hoppin'. We are at a crossroads here in western Queens. There are still some really shitty parts of the hood. But there is now enough money pumping in thanks to the water front high rises, that we have some really nice spots too. What does this all mean? Where are you going with this, Listy? I am here to tell you that my little neighborhood is the newest place for film and TV location shooting. We not only have "seedy" spots but we also have a great view of the city from the water and we are just a few blocks south of Silver Cup Studios. I have taken some notes over the past years and here is my list of

8 Movies & TV Shows That Were (Are) Shot In My Neighborhood
1) The Interpreter (the last scene)
2) Munich ( again last scene)
3) Law & Order CI
4) Law & Order SVU
5) Third Watch
6) The Black Donelleys (this is new and starts at the end of February)
7) The Knights Of Prosperity
8) Boy Meets Grill

Another Lame Holiday

Do you really need a special holiday to tell that certain someone that you love and care about them? I hope not (if so please get out of your relationship)! This, like New Year's Eve tends to be full of promise and rarely delivers any real excitement. I say "Fuck Valentine's Day!"Do something intellectual, socially relevant or fun that is devoid of any romance. Here is my list of suggestions for

7 Great Un Couple-y Things To Do On Valentine's Day

1) See The Vagina Monologues- This is my fave way to spend Valentine's Day! VDay is a movement to reclaim Valentine's Day as a way to draw attention to the world wide problem of violence against women and children. See an entertaining show and your ticket money goes to a good cause. It is win/win!

2) See A Scary Movie- If you are feeling a bit lonely or very single, a horror flick can cheer you up. The bad guy always kills the couple having sex right?

3) Take A Yoga Class- You will feel oh-so-good afterwards. Let the endorphins kick in!

4) Go To A Spa- Get the works. Your skin will thank you for it later.

5) Throw an Un Valentine's Day Party- Gather up all your single friends and throw a shin dig. Then proceed to get totally shit faced.

6) Go To A Comedy Club- Come on, I know you never go to a comedy club. It is something different and you will laugh. Well, if you go see someone good, you will laugh.

7) Go For A Bike Ride- If weather permits, get out and go for a bike ride. Some fresh air and the wind against your helmet. What could be better?

Shake What I Gave Ya

As far as activites go these days, one of my favorites is dancing with Thud. He has been dancing since December and he can really get down sometimes. He won't dance to just anything though. I thought kiddie music would do the trick but those awful songs don't seem to work for him. I think my attempt to raise a music snob is working. Thud likes the grown-up tunes, preferreably indie rock. What can I say? Here is my list of

7 Songs That Make Thud Shake His Pampers

1) Changes David Bowie- this is a new one for him but it was a big hit right away.

2) She Don't Use Jelly Ben Folds Five- I happen to love this song and think its really fun. Thud agrees.

3) Fergalicious Fergie- so one morning I turned on VH1 and this came on. I hate this song with a purple passion and just as I was about to change the channel, I noticed it. The baby trying to dance his way out of his high chair. I guess some of my effort is in vein.

4) That Thing You Do The Oneders- the movie has been on cable a lot lately and since I always have the TV on for background noise, this has been on a bunch. Who cares- its super fun!

5) Old Dan Tucker Bruce Spingsteen- I actually learned this song in my 3rd grade music class. It is a great folk song and is fun to sing and dance around to!

6) When Will I Be Loved The Everly Brothers- here's something the grandparents can dance to also.

7) Fat Soul Skavoovie & The Epitones- I will give you a dollar if you can name another song by this band (no, not you Jay-Bee).

Southern Belle

Truth be told, I am not really a Southerner. I was born in New Jersey, a fact my husband says in whispered tones. Although it was not my native place, growing up in the South gave me an appreciation for certain Southern things. I could eat fried chicken and drink sweet tea until I explode. I also developed a fondness and strong admiration for Southern women (no- not like that!). They are strong and yet have certain grace about them. Every time I think of any woman of this heritage, I immediately think of Steel Magnolias. I saw the movie even before I know the play existed. Then, two years later I did the play in high school. Now, every time I am around Southern women or are talking about Southern women, I quote this play (in my head mostly). Here is the list of my

9 Favorite Quotes From Steel Magnolias
1) "You know I love you more than my luggage!"

2) " He comes from a good ol' Southern family with good ol' Southern values. You either shoot it, stuff it, or marry it."

3) " I don't see plays cause I can nap at home for free."

4) "You know, I used to think you were crazy for marrying that man. Then for a few years I thought you were a glutton for punishment. Now I know you must be on some mission from God."

5) "You are a pig from hell!!"

6) "Janice Van Meter got hit in the head with a baseball. It was fabulous."

7) "The only difference between us and the animals is our ability to accessorize."

8) "I miss romance. The last romantic thing my husband did for me was back in 1972 when he enclosed this carport so I could support him."

9) "You have the handwriting of a serial killer."

I Hate LA

What is a LL to do? All my big city friends seem to be trading in taxis and a change of seasons for the land where they make porn- yuck! Why would anyone want to live there? I mean, I know why people move out there but I could never live there. You have heard it here first the LL will never never, ever relocate to the City Of Fake!

5 Things To Hate About LA

1) Earthquakes- the LL likes to see natural disasters coming. That was one of the very few pluses about living in the sunshine state. Three days out the weather man says "There's a storm coming our way. We think.". Then, the next day you realize it really is headed in your direction and you pack up your shit and get out of dodge. The no warning natural disasters scare the shit out of me.

2) Movie Writing Dry Cleaners- everybody is in the business and if you act like you are an important person in the business you'll be handed screenplays by everyone. Except maybe by actual screenwriters.

3) Traffic- The evening rush hour in LA starts at like 1:30 PM. Just thinking about that makes me suicidal.

4) Space Cadets- I'll take rude people over flaky people any day!

5) Pollution- Yes, I know we have pollution here in NYC but at least you can't see the pollution every day. We also don't get a smog rating every morning with the local weather.

Shake It Up

Sometimes its the little things. On occasion it is something that hits you over the head. However obvious or quiet, when something reinvigorates me I try to make a mental note. Put it in my back pocket if you will. I never know when I might need a little rejuvenation. Human beings are creatures of habit. Most people I know, myself included, get stuck in the same behaviors. Every day we wake up and go about our daily routine. Wake, go to work, have lunch, finish work, home, bed, etc. Now we here at the LL are not an advice blog and don't plan on becoming one. However, we think that everyone could use a little free advice now and again, especially us! Here is our list of

6 Things To Do To Wake Up Your Life

1) Get Out of Your Comfort Zone- do something you know is difficult for you. For me that would be going to a party where I don't know anyone (sweat, sweat)! It is hard to do sometimes but the rewards are worth it.

2) Do Something Where You Will Meet Someone New- take a class on your own or go to a sporting event solo. Even going to Starbucks by your self can mean that you will make a new friend!

3) Try Something Completely New- come on, there has got to be something that you have always wanted to try but just haven't done yet. Sky diving? A trip to Ireland by yourself? You know you have a list of these things somewhere. Get it out, dust it off , and cross something off the list!

4) Ask Yourself What You Need To Work On- everyone has flaws, that is a given. But are you actively trying to become a better person? Go ahead, it will feel good to work on yourself in that way!

5) Reevaluate Your Relationship- its good for both parties every once in a while to sit down and make sure you're on the same page. Even if things are going well, this can make them better. Ask yourself hard questions and answer them honestly. I do this several times a year and I am married. I have to say, I think my marriage is better off because of it.

6) Stare Death In The Face- OK, maybe you are emotionally handicapped and can't seem to manage anything else on this list. There is only one thing you can do to really get some new perspective- try to kill yourself while safety devices are being used. Go skydiving, bungee jumping, or wrestle an alligator. For me skiing is a near death experience. Once you look at death close-up and live to tell the tale, your life will look very different.

Is My Life A Tampon Commercial?

Dear God, I hope not! There is that one tampon commercial- " Boyfriend? Upgrade!" and then the girl gets a new, fancier boyfriend. "Stylist? Upgrade!" and then the girl gets a gayer, more fab hair dresser. "Tampon? Upgrade!" You get the picture. I think there are some things in my life right now that could use a little upgrading. Who couldn't? That got me to thinking. What would I upgrade in my life? Here is my list of

8 Things In My Life That Need Upgrading

1. Hair color
2. career path
3. wardrobe
4. I Pod
5. apartment
6. my Myspace page
7. car
8. social life